Thanks Tom for adding my blog. I thought it would be better to post the story here again.
I met my spouse on Feb 28, 2003 in Oregon and had a commitment ceremony on Jun 14, 2003. It was at this time that she told me about the immigration situation and how she had filed for asylum to stay in the US. Hopefully I won' t get sued for slander here. The first lawyer was David Shamloo and he was a total asshole. He said that I was not the one who had to worry about being deported. That was when I then sent an email meant for my spouse but it ended up getting to his secretary too and needless to say he did not like me much after that.
At first I didn't know much about immigration law and what asylum really meant but soon found out that my spouse's chances were very slim at best. I started researching about what kind of documentation was required and we worried that what Mr. Shamloo had would not be enough. So then I started looking to get a second opinion and that was when I found Lavi Soloway in New York. At this point, Shamloo had been paid in full for $6200.
I still remember talking to him on my cell phone in Oregon. Mr. Soloway asked me if we wanted to win at the interview and I said of course we do. He then proceeded to inform me that he didn't think we should proceed to the interview with the documentation that Mr. Shamloo had collected and that it would not be enough. Since Mr. Soloway was considered an expert on same-sex immigration cases, my spouse fired Mr. Shamloo and we now retained Mr. Soloway. We now started over again with fees--this time it was $5000. Soloway wrote a letter to Shamloo to convince him to return some of the retainer because-- now get this--he knew my spouse was not eligible to file for asylum in the first place since she had passed the one-year deadline. But he mentioned that it had now been filed and would have to be followed through. Shamloo returned $750 out of the goodness of his heart
Months later, Mr. Soloway began to tell us that he could now only buy us time and that we should start considering our Canadian option and connected us with our lawyer here as they knew each other. So on Dec 9, 2004 after a conference call with the two lawyers and discovering that we did not have the funds necessary to make a skilled worker application we made the decision to come as refugees to Canada. It was our last and only option.
We probably would have done it sooner but Soloway told us that my spouse could come but that I could not which was the wrong information.
We drove across country to Buffalo and connected with an organization called Viva La Casa who made us an appointment with the Canadian officials and on Jan 6, 2005 crossed the border. We stayed in a shelter in Toronto called World Vision for 3 weeks and then found our own place.
The refugee claim for my spouse was approved on Aug 31, 2005 and we filed our PR application on Oct 13, 2005 and landed on Oct 30, 2006.
I spoke with another friend in the same situation in California about how I felt to be landed. I told her that I was happy but sad at the same time if that made any sense. I am grateful that we are free and I love my spouse more than anything and if I had to do it again I would make the same choice because I want to be with her. I am grateful that we are together and that the door was finally opened for us. But I am also sad because I know we are never going back.
All in all, the US was our home and here does not feel like home. It is somewhat different when one chooses to go to a different place than when it is your only choice. I don't know if people can understand this or not. I am not trying to be negative but it is way we feel.
So that is our story. It only part of it but I couldn' t tell the whole one here on a blog.
4 comments:
Your story is amazingly similar to ours. I am so sorry for all that you have been through.
We've had 4 lawyers and spent $15,000. We've had issues with incompetence and down right nasty lawyers too. We also consulted Lavi who got us on the right track. We decided not to hire him for the long haul just based on sheer logistics of living and working in NJ and wanting a lawyer that is nearby and less costly.
We're waiting on a decision any day now for the asylum. Our attorney Joyce Phipps is highly recommended by us.
We also considered the refugee option as a back up plan should the whole thing fall apart.
My deepest hope is that you find Canada to be better than the US. Canada offers us so much more.
Hi you! It is always touching to hear your story, we were so scared at the beginning, we kept looking for stories and other people experiences and yours was one of the few we found, it gave us hope and a sense of believe that we could make it, and thank God we did! It would be nice to get together one day and have lunch or something... Our US lawyer was pretty cold I have to say, a little bit inaccurate on some very important deadlines, but at least we didn't have to pay the $4000 she was charging... In the other hand our Canadian lawyer was just fantastic!! so supportive and sensitive... a very big relief. a Hug!
I am also an American in exile. I'm living in England with my British wife. We met online almost 4 years ago, and were married in Canada in July 2004. We spent a fortune not in attorney fees, but in travelling back and forth and in phone bills - over $100,000 over the 2+ years we were in a long distance relationship. I took a 40% pay cut to move here, which was finally possible with an HSMP visa (the UK Civil Partnership Act wasn't effective now, but would be an avenue now), but haven't looked back.
I had done lots of research myself after finding my soulmate, who happened to be non-American, to see how I could get her into the States. As we all know that's not possible. I contacted Immigration Equality, although not Lavi directly, and through that found out about a documentary about same-sex binational couples that was in production at the time - www.throughthickandthin.net. We're one of 10 couples featured in the documentary and while in one way it was comforting to know we weren't alone, it was also heartbreaking to hear some of the stories that made ours sound like a walk in the park. And I continue to hear more stories like yours and the other bloggers on here of the messes caused by the current US immigration policies.
I too am an exile now, living in Spain with my husband. We met in Mexico City in 1996 with both of us on vacation. He came to California the following year and we have been together since.
In 2006, after finally succombing to exhaustion over having to constantly look over our shoulders, we made the leap and moved to Spain, which had legalized same sex marriage the year before. We tied the knot on May 29, 2007 with his family as witnesses.
I received my Spanish residency card this January. Anyway, Spain not being a native English speaking country, and my spanish horrible has made looking for a job almost impossible. I would like to return home, but I don't see any indication that the three candidates will take any action on the UAFA.
'sigh' Oh well, that's my story.
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